Posted in Autistic Identity, Career Change, Passing as Neurotypical

Still Fighting

I had a dream night before last where I went back to teaching online.   But I can’t do that anymore because teaching takes too much out of me and I can’t get a “good teaching job” anyway.  I spent the whole way to work fretting for two reasons: one, that dream seemed to have really gotten to me, and two, my knee hurts quite a bit.  The knee is a bit of overwork mixed with arthritis.  I’ve had bad knees since I was a kid and have one leg shorter than the other so weird leg things aren’t unusual, but damn, it hurts to drive right now (even though it’s my resting leg, not driving leg; it’s the sitting in one position too long thing.  Whatever the reason for the pain part, the combination of events was so freaking hard.

As a child of the 80’s (born in 1975…Gen X all the way!), I really believed in all the crap they taught us about women being able to do anything and how if we followed our dreams, everything would be GREAT!  But my town was run by teachers in a town with no educational competition.  No doubt they believed that we could, in fact, follow our dreams if we just got educated enough (etc.) and followed the prescribed path to college.  They never did teach me when to get off the path of education, but regardless, with as much education as I have, I should be freaking set right now, right?

But I’m not.

Continue reading “Still Fighting”