Posted in Advocacy, Autistic Identity

I Wish I Could Say I’m Aspergian: Why We Have to Join Up “For the Team”

Every so often, you’ll meet an Autistic who insists on saying that he or she has Asperger’s Syndrome.  That term has been removed from the diagnostic manual because people OTHER than us decided on Autistic being the blanket term.  While there’s good and bad in that, the gist of the reasoning was that those who got the Asperger’s label weren’t getting help, so it was better to call us all Autistic.

That was remarkably helpful of the medical establishment, which is sort of rare.

But had I been in the meeting, I would have said, “Can’t we both be Asperger’s Syndrome, instead?”

But since Asperger’s ONLY (to them) meant “high-functioning,” to ask that question would be tantamount to saying that I wanted to erase the “low-functioning” people from existence.  I don’t believe in functioning labels, but if I DID, I need to support my Neurosiblings who have been considered “low-functioning” first.  As such, I have to bury Asperger’s Syndrome.

Which is sad, I think.

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Posted in Advocacy

STAY IN YOUR LANE: #BoycottToSiri

Yesterday, I wrote about how real advocates correct their negative behaviors when they are corrected by others.  How, when you are an advocate (or want to believe yourself to be an advocate), you apologize and try to learn from what’s going on.  What mistake did you make?  How can you make it better?

What you don’t do is get into a fight with the advocate who is trying to help educate you on the harm you’re doing.

If you’re not on Autistic Twitter, you might not know that Autistic advocate Amethyst Shaber, a fantastic advocate, found out that they were referenced in a book called To Siri With Love.  It’s published by HarperCollins, a major publisher, and written by Judith Newman, mother to an Autistic and standard variety “my life sucks because my kid has autism” variety.

The author called Amethyst (who prefers they/them pronouns, and tells you so outright) a girl, and misconstrued Amethyst’s identity, using what the author believed would be a flattering description, but was actually quite condescending.  At no point does the author reach out to Amethyst, but she (the author) uses Amethyst’s work in the book and twists it so it’s not quite right.  In this way, the author apparently thinks that she herself is being helpful, but in reality, when the author presented Amethyst’s work in that way, Newman was not.  Amethyst looks into it and is concerned about the use of Autism Speaks as a reference in the book as well.

Amethyst objected, the author said “sorry” and she’d update it “in the next edition.”

The author was condescending.

Amethyst and other advocates actually start looking into the book and find passages that are eugenicist in nature including the author’s desire to have power of attorney over her son so she can get him sterilized when he comes of age.

Autistic Twitter explodes.

The standard trolls come out of the woodwork to defend this book and the author, not understanding what she’s actually did and why it’s so morally repugnant.

The author keeps saying snarky things, condescending things.

SHE WILL NOT GET INTO HER LANE NOR WILL SHE APOLOGIZE, SINCERELY, AND WORK TO MAKE AMENDS.

Check out #BoycottToSiri for the details.

Oh, and this goes without saying, DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK.  The author and publisher ought not to profit when they were given a chance to do the right thing, and chose, instead, to show what kinds of negative people are involved with this book.

 

 

Posted in Advocacy, Autistic Identity, Parenting

The Mother of Privilege: Greenlighting Eugenics Through Mama Drama

[Image: A scientific dropper pours black images of people from a dropper with greenish water into a waiting blue beaker; many other test tubes are lined up, and empty, in the background.]
In Autism circles, we talk a lot about the Autism Mother.  Typically, this person writes a blog and/or publishes posts on Facebook or Twitter to tell anyone who will listen about how his or her child was robbed from them due to Autism.  Many of them insist it was the MMR vaccine, but others, who feel a bit more enlightened by science, are taken in by the Autism Speaks mantra about how Autism is a growing epidemic.

An epidemic that must be stopped at all costs.

For some background on why we get irritated with the Autism MomTM  syndrome, visit this link to learn more about the Autist who created this term and why we take issue with these moms (or dads).

See, part of the reason why we get annoyed by these parents is because they make the narrative always about them.  When you’re a parent, though, isn’t it supposed to be about your kid and what he or she needs, and not about what you as the parent needs?  But for some reason, society allows this inverted family structure to continue: mom’s life sucks because of her child’s very existence.

You don’t get to do that with other issues without someone doing a PSA about it.  I vaguely remember they do Public Service Announcements about not emotionally abusing your kids that are basically just this narrative: children hear you; don’t hurt your children by what you say.  The words “I wish you were never born” come to mind…anyone else remember this ad that used to play?

Anyway, despite the fact that we’ve been told for years that this emotional abuse through words is wrong, for some reason, society gives these moms a “pass.”

And the thing of it is, the longer they whine and complain and are given all sorts of pats-on-the-back about how hard their lives supposedly are…that’s when the Eugenics monster shows up again, trying to pull us Autistics out of the gene pool so as to make neurotypicals’ lives better.

Continue reading “The Mother of Privilege: Greenlighting Eugenics Through Mama Drama”